What are we but insignificant specs of stardust wading through the vast ocean of existence?
What is our existence but insignificant perturbations of the canopy of time?
These are questions which have kept all of us awake at night, at some point in time.
We all chase a sense of purpose.
A sense of being.
A sense of doing something meaningful.
Immortality is something we all desire. Since the laws of nature prevent that from ever happening we look for other ways to make sure we live on beyond the miniscule ration of time we are given by nature. Our search for meaning and our inherent desire for attaining immortality unite forces to give rise to a single fundamental, visceral and potent desire of having relationships.
Great stories have the humblest of beginnings. Romances are definitely not an exception to this rule.
Cupid plays in a plethora of ways. Sometimes he’s direct and upfront. These are times when we know he or she’s the one very early on.
Then there are times when he decides to put his marksmanship to good use and is subtle yet penetrating with his methods. These are times when there’s a permanent itch in our subconscious which flares up every time that one person approaches near, much like Harry Potter’s scar in Voldemort’s presence.
Finally, there are those times when Cupid tips his projectiles of passion with an analgesic, keeping us in complete denial of the other person’s significance in our lives. Then one day in a blast of explosive passion two worlds collide, two hearts meet and two lives become a life.
It all starts with a simple “Hello”, a warm smile, a friendly conversation, a warm cup of coffee, a thin crust pizza, even the scarlet sunset pervading the horizon.
Sooner than we know the other person has slowly yet aggressively made himself or herself an integral part of our lives. From spacing the first phone call to three days after the first date to avoid sounding desperate to desperately longing to send ‘just one little text’ if we haven’t heard from the person in three hours, we seem to have travelled aeons of emotional distance in a matter of weeks.
We stand in that dwindling yet sweet spot between being single and committing ourselves completely to that one person and we just enjoy each day as it comes.
Sooner than we thought possible we’re ready to take the leap. All our past insecurities, commitment issues, regrets, fears, grievances seem to yield under the enormous promise of a future with that one person we can now safely say we’ve fallen head over heels for. The kiss, the embrace, the cuddling, the meaningless conversations, the 3 AM conversations, the small fights, the jealousy, even the scuffles all seem to constitute our inner sanctum of peace and belonging, imparting flavour to the repetitive drudgery of our daily existence. We finally start living instead of existing.
Soon things get very serious, very fast. The clock always seems to speed up when we finally get to spend time together. Time seems to be the biggest conspirator there is. The emotional intimacy we receive seems to fall short of our emotional demands. There comes a time in many a relationship where we feel alone although we’re together. The relationship was once the most important thing there was. However, now it seems to have been dethroned by the other rigours of life. The future seems bleak. We try to seek comfort only to find ourselves staring into the abyss of a relationship the future of which now seems as uncertain as ever. The most insignificant of issues blow out of proportion very easily and spark conflicts.
“There were always fights, but fights nowadays actually have to be fought.” is a common grievance.
Silence seems to have replaced the customary hug and kiss which religiously concluded fights in the past.
Apparent indifference replaces passionate compassion.
Insecurity replaces jealousy.
Both seem to be suffering together, yet separately.
Finally, we acknowledge that we fell in love, not with the idea of love, but the person we love. Not the body but the soul. Not the smile but the tears hiding behind them.
We remember the nuances, the idiosyncrasies, the conflicts, the faults, the sheepish grins- all the little yet profound things which make the person, “the person”.
We start talking about deeper issues.
The problems with the problems.
We talk the talk.
Slowly but surely, like a patient slowly recovering from an acute condition the relationship heals. The Phoenix of our love rises from its ashes, more vibrant, more gallant and stronger than ever before.
We realize what matters the most and once more things slowly move ahead.
Time flows by.
The melody of the wedding bells plays the melodious tune of togetherness resonating in the hearts of the two young lovers.
The “Hello!” which started the story finally runs a full circle with “I do!”
Thus two more lives find meaning in the meaningless of it all.
Two lives find purpose in the purposelessness of the Cosmos.
Two lives find life in the eyes of their better half.
Two lives find their little infinity in the bigger infinity of the infinite.