The importance of giving and sharing.
It is so difficult to trust someone these days. Who loves us so
much that we can put our trust in him/her? But does true and pure love exist anyway and is it something
that comes before trust or after? Was it ever there? And how can we really know if someone loves us? Do we learn to love? Do we learn to trust? Is it something that comes naturally? Do we really understand these terms as love, trust and happiness? What does it really mean to love, to trust, to be happy and to be free?
Human relationships have become very complicated. Maybe they were always like that. Why is it so hard to communicate and build healthy relationships with other people? We, humans, have exactly the same needs for love, safety, acceptance, etc, but we fail to deal with each other, to create healthy and last longing relationships. We end up in our bed at the end of the day having
that feeling of loneliness overwhelming us.
Why doesn’t anybody understand me? Why do I feel like that and so out of this world? We repeatedly ask ourselves. Soon we fall asleep and we get up the next day, sometimes in a good mood, other times in a bad one, ready to deal with
another Golgotha. But are we really ready? Do we really know where we are going? Do we really know what we want, what we love, what we hate? Who we really are? What really happens? No, we don’t! That’s why we feel unable to face life and reality. Because we don’t know anything about it.
We have learned to live in another reality. Everyone lives in his own reality and that is the only reality we trust and follow with blind faith sometimes, even when it leads us to pain and suffering and unhappiness. We follow our ego, ourselves, our choices when we don’t really know and understand ourselves. We keep going and following and trusting ”the unknown”. And if we are lucky enough we are going to end up with a big smile and that feeling of success. But the truth is that there is not such a thing as luck. We choose how we live and sometimes how we die. But there are times when we do everything right and we still feel bad for no reason. Something is wrong and we don’t know what it is.
We are starting to understand what is wrong when it is too late and the years have passed. And that makes it more difficult for us to change things in our life because we have learnt things wrong at the beginning when we were still children. We have used the wrong way of doing things.
The whole theory is wrong as well. It’s like for years teaching a guitar player the wrong way of playing the
guitar and the wrong theory about music. Imagine how difficult and what effort that player has to give in order to get used to the right way and learn again from zero everything about music. And that teacher made that mistake because he was taught the wrong way himself as well. So, when that moment of understanding of what is wrong finally comes or if it comes, (sometimes and for some people, that moment never comes) we look back and we realize that we have lived all the days of our lives trying to understand and empathize only with us. Hanging out with us, enjoying our company, shouting and screaming at us, getting angry with us, holding our own hand trying hard to overcome our problems. We have lived like we are the only ones alive in the whole world. We didn’t give attention to the world itself. We have used the world and everything outside of us for our own pleasure.
We used the animals, nature, we used everyone else, at any cost sometimes, just for our own pleasure and satisfaction. We have not learned to share. We wanted everything for us. The whole world under our feet. We wanted to be in control, we didn’t accept advice. And why to do that anyway? We have lived as we knew everything, we knew what is wrong, what is right, what is just, what is unjust, what is true and what is fake. We had all the answers. Even when we found love, we kept it for ourselves, we were afraid to give it away, of sharing it with others. We haven’t learned to share, but only to take. We haven’t learned to give, to offer, the importance of giving and sharing.
But it’s not our fault. Our parents taught us the wrong way. They were trying desperately to give us everything. Everything that they didn’t have in their lives. They taught us according to their life and needs and not according to our lives and needs. They taught us how important is to take, but not to give. How important it is to find a good job with good money but not the job we would like to have. They taught us that money is everything and we should go after it. That making money should be our biggest goal in life. They were thinking that the more we would have, the happier we would be.
They taught us the importance of materialism. A nice car, a good job, a nice house. They taught us how important it is to survive but not to live. They presented us the world that does not exist. An ideal world where everybody loves everybody in order to protect us. They prepared us to be dependent on others, on them, depending on the world that is not there for us. They taught us how the world is and not how the world should be, and they kept giving us without realizing that when you teach a child only to take, you condemn him to live his life dependent on others.
They wanted for us to live the life they didn’t live without realizing that we are different persons with different life and needs. We are not them. They wanted for us to be free but they kept teaching us how to be good slaves to the world and the system that doesn’t care about us. I am not saying that they did that on purpose. They were just teaching us everything that they had been taught by their parents.
They don’t know how to be free, what freedom is and feels like. They actually taught us to make the same mistakes as they did, because this is the only kind of world they know and have been taught about.
It is sad that they think they were doing the opposite. That they were trying to make us avoid the mistakes they made by keep telling us what not to do and what to do, feeding our heads with issues and problems which they faced when they were younger, without realizing that making mistakes means trying and we learn by making mistakes. They were trying to make us understand
what life is all about without living it. They should know that the only source of knowledge is an experience. But the truth is that they didn’t actually try to teach us. They were still trying to teach themselves. We were living for them and not for us.
They didn’t try to share their problems with us, they were just giving orders. Likewise, we are growing up making the same mistakes with our parents, trying to live their kind of life and not the kind of life which is more suitable and best for us. We are growing up and caring only for ourselves and teaching our children the wrong way we have been taught about.
”And why do you care anyway?” Some will say. ”The world doesn’t care about me! Everyone should fight for his own sake! That’s what my parents told me! That’s how the whole system works! Wake up!”
The people shouting at me. And that feeling of loneliness comes back and makes me feel alone once again and so out of this world and makes me wonder… ”Maybe they are right. I have the problem. I have a lot of issues. Maybe I need to pay a visit to a therapist. Something is wrong with me. What the hell was I thinking! I have to compromise. My parents were right. I have to be the slave they taught me to be. I should care more about myself and live only for myself if it is possible. Otherwise, I will not survive and I will die alone believing in something that doesn’t exist.” The people stopped shouting at me when I started to follow the system and my parent’s teachings and advice. Everybody became so friendly and I started to feel more acceptable to the world and to my parents. But still, something is wrong with me, because I can hear the people’s thoughts and they are so loud like they are still shouting at me but without opening their mouth this time. And the thoughts are saying.. ”I
fought hard in my life and earned worthily a nice spot to heaven! I have saved myself! I spent my whole life sweating and working hard to reach that higher level of me and to become a valuable member of the society, to become a better human being! So that everybody would look at me and say, look how good and nice and just and happy and strong is that person! I made it earn the thumbs up, the compliments, the love of the people! And the bigger my good fame, the bigger my happiness and my love for myself!
My biggest need is now fulfilled! I have earned worthily the love of the world! I am feeling unique, a leader, a king, a god! I am more than human now! Mission accomplished! That
is true I have to say. I totally agree with all these people. Well done! You are not human beings anymore! But I want to spend my life with human beings around me and not just people who think that they have reached some higher level. Sharing the good and the bad. Being human. Nothing more or less than that. Something not perfect. Perfection has nothing to do with humanity. Love and happiness have no worth if we don’t share them. Freely as we take them, freely we should give them back. Life isn’t worth living unless it is lived for someone else.
Peace cannot be kept by force, it can
only be achieved by understanding. We are here on earth to share the good and the bad, to share everything. That is the first of all lessons and maybe the most important one we should teach
ourselves first and then our children. With sharing comes communication and then understanding, then acceptance and then trust and eventually love.